How to Say You Do Not Understand in a Parent Teacher Message
When you need to write a parent teacher message but do not understand something, the best approach is to be honest, polite, and specific. Saying “I do not understand” directly can feel uncomfortable, but in English, there are clear, respectful ways to express confusion without sounding rude or unprepared. This guide gives you the exact phrases, tone guidance, and examples you need to communicate clearly when you are lost in a conversation or email with a teacher.
Quick Answer: What to Say When You Do Not Understand
If you need to say you do not understand in a parent teacher message, use one of these simple, polite phrases:
- “I am sorry, but I do not understand. Could you please explain that again?”
- “I am not sure I follow. Could you give me an example?”
- “Could you please clarify what you mean by that?”
- “I am having trouble understanding this part. Could you explain it in a different way?”
These phrases work for both email and face-to-face conversations. They show respect and a willingness to learn, which teachers appreciate.
Understanding the Context: Formal vs. Informal
Parent teacher messages can be written or spoken. The level of formality depends on your relationship with the teacher and the situation. In general, it is safer to start with a more formal tone and adjust if the teacher uses informal language.
Formal Tone (Best for Emails and First Conversations)
Use formal language when you are writing an email or meeting a teacher for the first time. Formal phrases show respect and professionalism.
- “I apologize, but I am having difficulty understanding the homework instructions. Could you please provide further clarification?”
- “I am not entirely clear on the grading criteria. Would you mind explaining it once more?”
- “Thank you for your explanation. However, I still have a question about the schedule. Could you please elaborate?”
Informal Tone (Best for Quick Chats or Follow-Ups)
If you have already spoken with the teacher several times, or if the teacher uses casual language, you can use slightly less formal phrases. Still, keep a polite tone.
- “Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Can you say it again?”
- “I’m a bit confused about the project deadline. Can you help me understand?”
- “I’m not sure I get what you mean. Could you explain it differently?”
Comparison Table: Formal vs. Informal Phrases
| Situation | Formal Phrase | Informal Phrase |
|---|---|---|
| Asking for repetition | “Could you please repeat that?” | “Can you say that again?” |
| Asking for clarification | “I would appreciate it if you could clarify this point.” | “Can you explain that part again?” |
| Expressing confusion | “I am having trouble understanding the instructions.” | “I’m lost. Can you help?” |
| Requesting an example | “Could you provide an example to illustrate this?” | “Can you give me an example?” |
| Admitting lack of knowledge | “I am not familiar with this term. Could you define it?” | “I don’t know that word. What does it mean?” |
Natural Examples for Real Situations
Here are complete examples of parent teacher messages where the parent does not understand something. Read them carefully to see how the phrases fit naturally.
Example 1: Email about Homework Instructions
Subject: Question about math homework
Dear Mrs. Chen,
Thank you for the homework packet. I am sorry, but I do not understand the instructions for problem 5. It says to “show your work using the area model,” but I am not sure what that means. Could you please explain it in a different way? I want to help my son correctly.
Thank you,
Mr. Rivera
Example 2: Face-to-Face Conversation at a Meeting
Parent: “Thank you for explaining the reading log. I am not sure I follow the part about the summary. Could you give me an example of what a good summary looks like?”
Teacher: “Of course. A good summary is three to four sentences that tell the main events in your own words.”
Parent: “That helps. So it should not include every detail, just the main idea?”
Teacher: “Exactly.”
Example 3: Email about a School Policy
Subject: Clarification on late work policy
Dear Mr. Thompson,
I read the note about the late work policy, but I am having trouble understanding the part about partial credit. It says that late work receives 70% credit, but does that apply to all assignments or only major projects? I would appreciate it if you could clarify this.
Best regards,
Ms. Patel
Common Mistakes When Saying You Do Not Understand
English learners often make these mistakes when expressing confusion. Avoid them to sound more natural and polite.
Mistake 1: Being Too Direct or Rude
Incorrect: “I don’t understand. This is confusing.”
Why it is a problem: This sounds blunt and can make the teacher feel blamed.
Better alternative: “I am sorry, but I am having trouble understanding this. Could you please explain it again?”
Mistake 2: Using “I don’t know” When You Mean “I don’t understand”
Incorrect: “I don’t know what you mean.”
Why it is a problem: “I don’t know” usually means you lack information, not that you cannot follow the explanation.
Better alternative: “I am not sure I understand what you mean. Could you clarify?”
Mistake 3: Staying Silent
Incorrect: Nodding and saying nothing, then later realizing you missed important information.
Why it is a problem: The teacher thinks you understood, and you miss out on help.
Better alternative: “I want to make sure I understand correctly. Could you repeat that last part?”
Mistake 4: Using the Wrong Preposition
Incorrect: “I am confused about the homework of math.”
Why it is a problem: The preposition “of” is not correct here.
Better alternative: “I am confused about the math homework.”
Better Alternatives for Common Situations
Sometimes the same phrase can be improved depending on the situation. Here are better alternatives for specific contexts.
When You Missed What the Teacher Said
- Instead of: “What?”
- Use: “I am sorry, I did not catch that. Could you please repeat it?”
When the Teacher Uses a Word You Do Not Know
- Instead of: “I don’t know that word.”
- Use: “I am not familiar with that term. Could you explain what it means?”
When the Instructions Are Too Complicated
- Instead of: “This is too hard.”
- Use: “I am finding these instructions a bit difficult to follow. Could you break them down into smaller steps?”
When You Need More Time to Think
- Instead of: “I don’t get it.”
- Use: “Let me think about that for a moment. I want to make sure I understand.”
Mini Practice Section
Test yourself with these four questions. Write your own answer, then check the suggested response.
Question 1: The teacher says, “Your child needs to work on his fluency.” You do not know what “fluency” means in this context. What do you say?
Suggested answer: “I am sorry, but I am not familiar with the term ‘fluency’ in this context. Could you please explain what it means for reading?”
Question 2: The teacher explains a new homework system, but you are confused about the due dates. What do you say?
Suggested answer: “Thank you for explaining the new system. I am not sure I understand the due dates for the weekly assignments. Could you clarify when each one is due?”
Question 3: You are in a parent teacher conference, and the teacher speaks too quickly. You miss part of what she said. What do you say?
Suggested answer: “I am sorry, I did not catch that last part. Could you please repeat it a little more slowly?”
Question 4: The teacher sends an email with a link to a video, but you cannot open it. You do not understand the technical instructions. What do you say?
Suggested answer: “Thank you for the video link. I am having trouble opening it. Could you please give me step-by-step instructions on how to access it?”
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
1. Is it okay to say “I don’t understand” to a teacher?
Yes, it is perfectly okay. Teachers expect parents to ask questions. The key is to say it politely. Instead of just “I don’t understand,” add a polite request like “Could you please explain it again?” This shows you are engaged and want to help your child.
2. What if I still do not understand after the teacher explains again?
It is fine to ask for a different explanation. You can say, “Thank you for explaining again. I am still having trouble understanding. Could you give me an example or show me a picture?” Teachers appreciate when you are honest about needing more help.
3. Should I use formal or informal language in an email?
Always start with formal language in an email. You can use phrases like “I would appreciate it if you could clarify” or “Could you please explain.” If the teacher replies with informal language, you can match their tone in future messages. It is better to be too formal than too casual.
4. How can I practice saying these phrases?
Practice by writing short emails to yourself or a friend. Read them out loud. You can also role-play with a family member. The more you use the phrases, the more natural they will feel. For more practice, visit our Parent Teacher Message Practice Replies section.
Final Tips for Success
When you do not understand something in a parent teacher message, remember these three things:
- Be polite. Always start with “I am sorry” or “Thank you” before asking for clarification.
- Be specific. Say exactly what you do not understand. Instead of “I don’t get it,” say “I do not understand the part about the reading log.”
- Ask for help. Teachers are there to support you and your child. Asking questions shows you care.
For more guidance on starting conversations with teachers, check our Parent Teacher Message Starters. If you need help making polite requests, visit Parent Teacher Message Polite Requests. For explanations of common problems, see our Parent Teacher Message Problem Explanations category.
If you have further questions about this guide, please read our FAQ or contact us.
